From 24 to 30 and Beyond!

When I converse with people who belong to the age bracket of 18 to 24 years; it appears to me that we come from different planets altogether! I have heard about the book, “Men are from Mars-Women are from Venus”.  I now sincerely feel that the time is ripe to write a sequel, “18 to 24 years old are from Mercury whereas the 30+ year’s lot are from Pluto”!  How does life alter so fundamentally within a span of less than a decade? Why am I plagued with a feeling that we are different species altogether? Am I losing my sense of empathy? 

Why do I feel as if I never really was a 24 year old and was always beset with the same set of issues that typically plagues a 30 year old! You don’t even realize how EMI issue becomes more serious than boyfriend issue? It appears as if in a blink of an eye, the problem of buying a house at the age of 30 is certainly far more complicated than the problem of finding a decent well-paying job at the age of 24! What is more difficult? The challenges of starting a family at the age of 30 or the burden of kick starting your career at the age of 24?

In the age gap of 18 to 24, the question of “What next?” doesn’t bother you for the simple reason that the agenda is categorically chalked out for you by your friends and family in the form of a fixed 5 year plan! You literally have a list to cross! Complete your studies-Check! Find a job-Check! Find a decent set of people to socialize-Check! Find a mate to settle down-Check! You are so busy checking the check list to which you attach so much of importance that you end up presuming that your check list has pushed you into the most challenging phase of life.  What could be more challenging than the task of burning mid-night oil in the race of clearing your exams after exams for eventually obtaining your divine degree that would act as a magical key that would open the lock of your destiny and let you in the house of rocking career and financial stability? What would be more painful than the bleeding heart which is forced to tread across the treacherous path of broken relationships? Is there anything more taxing than the unending attempts of finding just the right kind of job that would act as the best launching pad?

Just when you are busy crossing the milestones from 18 to 24 after silently patting yourself on the back for having checked all the items in the “To do list”; you are hardly ready for what lays in store ahead! You have no idea that your time-travelled self has zoomed past into the future and is standing at the gate with a sign of “Welcome to the real world-Your journey has just began, please tighten the seat belt of responsibility and courage, for you are about to take the journey of never ending expectations, both internal and external!”  The feeling of growing up all of a sudden and being solely accountable for all your deeds and actions is scary indeed! In retrospect, you start thinking, what was I fretting and fuming for? Was getting the degree really that difficult? Why on earth was I making a big deal of my broken relationships? Am I not tackling far bigger challenges now? How stupid and naïve was I! How I blew things out of proportion! How I made a big deal out of every little thing which did not really mattered in the long run!

This thought process now sets me thinking. In retrospect, if I find the typical problems of a 24 year old as are less complicated in comparison to what plagues a 30 year old; will I belittle the problems that I face now when I turn 40? At the age of 40, in retrospect, will I reach a conclusion that all my worries were uncalled for? That the issues besetting me at 30 were non-issues really? That I shouldn't have made a big deal out of it?  How I wish I could time travel backwards and comfort my former self that it was pointless to be anxious, that it was meaningless to magnify problems’ that this was just a phase which would get over!

I cannot take a backward journey in time but at this juncture, especially when I am conscious of the fact that my current issues would lose its value and gravity over the course of the next decade, I can certainly decide to relax, to let go off, to calm down as nothing really matters in the larger schemes of things other than peace of mind. And is this realization not what growing up all about?

And if you fail to realize this, you shall forever be stuck at 24! The choice is yours!

Certainty Versus Uncertainty

Our expectations from life are so full of contradictions! Our nature is so dichotomous! Our habits are so uneven. At times, we want life to be full of adventure, replete with pleasant surprises, catching us unaware  like a cute child hidden behind a curtain who startles us by suddenly jumping in front of us. At other times, we want our lives to be as predictable and certain as day following night and seasons changing in the same rhythm over the course of its immortal existence. These inherent contradictions in our expectations create a tug of war between the contradictory expectations of our heart that are at daggers with each other all the time.

In the backdrop of certain and static patterns of life, why do we chase uncertainty?  The fact of birth and death is certain! The fact of ageing is certain! The fact of the cycle of gain and loss; joy and sorrow, success and failure, are nothing but the most unchangeable and predictable parameters of existence. Does that make us chase uncertainty? Is it because there is too much of certainty in the larger schemes of thing? Is it because we subconsciously feel that destiny or providence has given us a fixed frame of reference and we have little choice but to act and behave and choose within that frame of reference. Is this the reason why in certain corner of our heart we constantly endeavour to break ourselves free of this presumably monotonous existence?  Is the charm and craving for uncertainty and adventure nothing but a subconscious revolt against providence? Is it an attempt to break ourselves loose from the clutches of cyclic patterns of our existence? Do we chase uncertainty in the vain attempt of giving a new interpretation to the predictable patterns of the universe? Why do we seek entertainment? Why do we love to travel? Why do we like reading books, watching movies, seeing plays that are full of twists and turns? Why do we leave a well-paying job at regular interval and take up new job which becomes equally monotonous after a point of time? Why do we seek new relationships? Why do we yearn for thrill and passion in our romantic relationships as against peace and certainty? This is for the simple reason that human soul feels like a caged bird that is forced to flutter within the four corners of its caged existence. We end up reducing human life to an endless attempt at escaping this supposedly caged existence. In our attempt at chasing uncertainty, we more often than not fail to discover the true meaning of our existence. We fail to delve into the deeper beings and discover the truth behind our existence.  We try breaking the imaginary circle of certainty and end up getting entrenched in the circle of illusions and disappointment. The ceaseless pursuit of uncertainty leads to the spinning of the web of sorrow. 

On the other hand, more often than not, when things become unpredictable and uncertain, we crave and yearn for predictability and certainty. When the ceaseless cycle of hard circumstances assumes the dimension of a monstrous wave and whirls us back and forth against the pain of rock; all that we care for, all that we want like a lost child is the predictable and certain circumstances that has the effect of the  peace and comfort of the bosom of mother! Why do we search our future in the stars? Why do we chase astrologers? Why do we read a person’s star sign either prior to or after meeting that person? Many a times, we like to be with the same set of people socially and professionally; we continue with the same job for years together, we follow the same transport route year after year, we follow the same routine, watch the same sitcoms, wear similar costumes without really experimenting with the latest fashion, celebrate the same occasions, visit the same holiday destination and end up behaving like a still water body which ends up rotting over the course of time.   We fear change and we consequently uncertainty and adventure ends up becoming our sworn enemy that haunts us every waking moment of our life! 

Why do we oscillate between clinging on to certainty and uncertainty?  Is it the consequence of the failure of human nature to accept what life offers or is it the outcome of the tumultuous nature of our expectations? In the process of giving our own interpretation to the life’s experiences; are we missing the larger picture? Are we failing to understand the lessons that the cyclic nature of certainty and uncertainty has to offer by interpreting it from our frame of reference and clinging on to it to our larger disadvantage?

Are there any certain answers to the above question? Do we seek any certain answers to it?  If you do have any answers, do share your thoughts!