I vividly recall the
contempt and disgust on the face of a well-meaning friend when I informed her
that I would be studying law as I couldn't make the head and tail out of
Science in my junior college years! No sooner did I tell her about my plans to
pursue law, I got deluged with her never ending questions and reprimands! This
is how she went, “Why law? What is wrong with you? Are you going to stand on
the street and yell ‘affidavit’ ‘affidavit’?
Don’t you have any self-respect? You know how these lawyers are! All
that they do is coin big fat lies and charge hefty fees! She went on and on and
on! Guess the little demonic lawyer within me was waiting for a chance to rebut
her arguments! It was the first litmus test I went through! Remaining unfazed
even in the midst of severest criticism and simultaneously thinking through
your rebuttals in an objective and detached manner is the most important trait
a lawyer has to exhibit! In retrospect, I fail to understand the reason for the
disgust and contempt! This is for the
simple reason that I see almost everyone around me exhibiting lawyering skills
in various degrees and form. They don’t
need a degree! They do not need to stand in front of the judge! The do not need
to understand complex case-laws. The basic traits of a lawyer are just inbuilt
in their genetic code! Why demonize the poor lawyers who are already burdened
with the task of reading voluminous case laws to no end! ;-) The most surprising part is that these
tendencies are displayed by people at every level! You don’t agree? Okay, allow
me to explain! I will set out 5 typical lawyer’s
tendencies and the group of people in whom I witness these traits.
Drink
and Binge!: Let me admit the fact! Lawyers love
drinking! They have very valid reason to forget most part of their conscious
life! Take it from me! Complex document isn’t worth remembering! The community
is highly stressed! Stressed because of the clients! Stressed because of fellow
lawyers! Stressed because of difficult judges! Stressed because of voluminous
reading! What is the solution to this? Vodka, Old Monk and Rum! Is this not a
common solution for a lay man as well? Let us face it! I see a lot of my friends
in the non-legal field resorting to the same stress bursting mechanism! They
are equally stressed! Stressed because of the bosses! Stressed because of the
colleagues! Stressed because of the targets! Stressed because of
wife/girlfriend or husband/boyfriend! And this is where the path of a lawyer
and a layman crosses. It crosses at the bar! It is the place where they attempt
to forget whatever inflicts them! Corporate life is indeed blurring the
distinction between a lawyer and a layman!
Pessimism:
We lawyers are alleged to be a bunch of
pessimistic morons! We always think about what can go wrong. Our starting point
in any relationship is the precautions to be taken in the worst case scenario perspective!
Before marriage, we will think through the pre-nuptial agreement! Before signing
on any dotted line in a commercial contract, we read the finer print million
times to ensure that we are not being taken for a ride! Hang on! Is the bug of
pessimism only biting lawyers? Certainly not! Look at insurance agents! The premises
of selling insurance policy are “fear of death”. Whenever I talk to my insurance agent, the
ominous feeling that death is around the corner grips me and I think of
increasing my premium amount in order to further secure my family L
Is the corporate world not making us pessimistic? Appraisal will happen in the
next two months and I see the wave of pessimism surging! I often hear super
pessimistic dialogues from my friends about how they will be left out in the
corporate rat race and how the boss is partial towards colleague X or colleague
Y and how they have always been treated unfairly! They go on and on and on and
there is just no end to it! Students pursuing academics are no strangers to
pessimism! I often see students cribbing about the college, the professors, the
entrance exams, and the rat race to get a well-paying job and about what not?
The examples can be endless! The point is, the sense of pessimism is shared by
lawyers and layman alike!
Eye
for detail: Lawyers are known to have an eye for
detail! Give them a voluminous document of 100 page and they will tell you by
the end of the day how you are being fooled on the 75th page in
clause (56) sub-clause (b) on account of the twisted and ambiguous language!
They will hear the whole facts out, ask you a million questions until and
unless they are not completely satisfied that they have all the details
required to make their case out! In the usual course of life, I find this trait
being exhibited by a lot of people around me, especially women! When we gossip,
we need to know the whole story. J We want
complete detail! Nothing should be left out! How dare you not tell me about her
5th breakup and 3rd wedding! It was necessary for me to
understand her true character! How can you leave out such important fact that
was necessary for me to appreciate the truth in its entirety? ;-) How meticulous
women are with their house chores! If we have a maid, we are so easily able to
spot dirt in the most remote and the obscure corner of our house! How dare we
then say that only lawyers have an eye for detail? In the corporate world, we
would like to have complete details of our colleague’s personal and
professional lives! We would always want to know everything about our bosses!
We would always want to have the inside scoop! Let us not therefore not
attribute this quality only to the poor lawyers!
Acrimonious
attitude: Lawyers are often alleged to instigate
fights! There is an assumption that they are always ready to plunge into verbal
duel! They are disputed oriented and just love the words of war! While I might
not entirely disagree, I would nevertheless assert that this trait is again not
restricted to lawyers! Travel in ladies compartment in any train in Mumbai and
you will know what I am talking about! Participate in any society meetings and you
will realize that there is an in-built lawyer in every society member! In the
local trains, you will be amused when you see women yelling and fighting with
the choicest of the abuses over flimsiest of the reasons! Trust me the reason
are more often than not, unreasonable! But they just love arguing and fighting!
In the society meetings, people behave as if the spot light is on them! Their
inner lawyer suddenly wakes up! They remove their imaginary sword and start
slaying the chairman or the secretaries! It is fun to attend society meetings
for this very reason! You will see lawyers without degrees arguing the fiercest
of the battles afflicting societies.
Alpha
A type personality: Lawyers are known to be highly
competitive. They are always out there
to beat the opponent! They have to be the best! They have to have the last
word! Pardon me but I see these personalities everywhere these days! People who
are not A type are taking up self-help courses to become an A type
personalities! There is indeed a very high level of competitiveness everywhere at
all levels, whether it be at school, office, family, friend circle and what not!
So let us not accuse lawyers of possessing this personality trait! We all are
equally guilty at some level!
This list can go on and
on! There is no end to it! Every individual is a lawyer in his or her own right
presenting his or her case at various lawyers and exhibiting those very traits
that they otherwise dislike in a lawyer! Are we therefore being fair to the
legal community by looking down upon them? J J
J
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